The Life I Wasn't Meant to Live
by Suspended
Summary: Never make someone your everything, because when they leave your left with nothing. Warning: Drugs, Sex and Alcohol abuse. Rated M just to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

Sometimes, I would just sit there wondering how I got myself into this mess. Yet sometimes, I would question myself, was this really such a bad thing? Were the things I was doing really that horrible? The parties, drugs, and hookups; nothing that I couldn't get myself out of when ever I wanted to. Who am I kidding, I know they are awful but the thing is, I didn't _want _to stop. I wanted to keep having fun. I wanted to keep getting that release. Freedom from all of this pain. From the pain _he _left me with.

If someone asked me, I would say this whole thing started when I was at Jessica's house. We had been working on a project, when a friend of hers called. He, who's name I later found out was Jon, asked Jessica if she would be interested in coming over to his house. She eagerly accepted and I got dragged along.

When we arrived at Jon's house, I couldn't help but notice how messy the place was. But I honestly didn't care. I hadn't cared about much since _he_ had left, so why should I care about the way some stranger chose to live their life.

The three of us talked for a while. About things such as previous lovers, hookups and what not. I had never really spoken with such a level of comfort about these topics with my other friends, but it felt so _natural. _

Soon enough, a few of Jon's friends came over. Jessica persuaded me to make out with one of them as she was doing. She told me it wouldn't mean anything and it was a great way to forget my troubles. I later found a better way to do this, but that's later on. So I did. And she was right, it didn't mean anything and I felt great afterwards. When I look back on it, I can' even remember what he looked like, much less his name.

I did this every weekend. Every time a new guy, every time I went just a bit further with them, every time digging a bigger hole for myself to climb out of. Parties, drugs and drinking soon followed. The rest is history. And the best part was, I didn't _care._ Not if I lived or died, not for my family, not for my friends, nothing. Because what was the point?

Since my existence was never coming back, why should I even bother?

"Hurry the fuck up!"

Dylan Moravia. My current dealer. My current life line.

He really was a great guy, great in bed too. Just some people don't see him the way I do. Dylan has had a tough life leading him to make some wrong decisions, but it didn't make him a bad person. Besides, he brought me to the best parties and got me some pretty good deals.

"I'm coming!" I yelled back. I ran out of the stinky town house that I had stayed in last night with the clothing I wore yesterday. Pretty gross if you ask me.

"That's my girl." He gave me a pop kiss and we climbed into his crappy little Honda.

"So what's up for today?" I asked as Dylan backed up from the drive way. All I knew was that we were headed to Seattle from our current location, Port Angeles.

"We're chilling with Bryan and some others. Jessica might be there too." I perked up. I hadn't seen Jessica since… I couldn't even remember, but last I heard she was dating Tyler from our old high school in Forks. We graduated from two years ago. "Oh, I forgot to give this to you." Dylan said as he handed me a small baggie with six small white pills. I immediately recognized what they were and popped them into my mouth.

I laid my head against the seat and got ready for the best feeling I knew to overcome me.

**AN: Well that's it for now. This is my first Twilight story and before I begin to write longer chapters, I would like to know what everyone thinks of this one. Please leave a review, or you can just be like heeyyy or what ever you want. It's all cool. **


	2. Chapter 2

When we arrived in Seattle, I got a bad turn in my stomach, like something bad was going to happen

When we arrived in Seattle, I got a bad turn in my stomach, like something bad was going to happen. But I had been feeling sick lately so I dismissed the feeling.

When we arrived at Bryan's house, I saw Jessica waiting patiently on the front step. When she saw Dylan and I pull in to the drive way however, she quickly jumped up and ran over.

"Bella!" She yelled.

"Jessica!" I tried to say with almost as much enthusiasm, but I was still a bit groggy from the ecstasy. Jessica looked much better than I expected her to, and about ten times better than I did with her brunette hair in a sloppy bun and mismatched sweats. I was still dressed in dark washed jeans and a shirt that showed a bit too much cleavage.

At least Jessica looked clean.

"Come in! I have so much to tell you," she grabbed my hand and turned around to finally notice Dylan. "Hey!" She greeted, pecking his cheek lightly. Dylan kissed me quickly on the lips and walked inside.

"Are you and Moravia dating?" She asked.

"No way. He's one of my best friends… with benefits." I winked at her. "So what's this about you and Tyler?"

"Oh he's great really, and he's excited to see you."

We entered the tiny house with the living room in your face as soon as you entered. I saw Dylan buying heroine from some skanky ho on the couch, and Jon and Tyler were whispering to each other.

They both got up, seeing us enter, and I received a bear hug from Tyler.

"Bells!" he greeted.

"Hey Tyler, It's good to see you." I hugged back. We let go seeing Jessica glaring at me. Even though we were close now, she never really got over her jealousy problems. Seeing this, Tyler grabbed Jessica's hand and brought her to the torn up couch and proceeded to kiss her.

"Hey bay bay" Jon said, snaking his arm around my waist.

"Hey" I smiled up at him. I didn't feel real though, simply because I knew what he wanted. Jon smiled back, knowing that I was willing to give it to him.

With no words needed to be said, Jon led me upstairs and we closed the door. No one thought this out of the ordinary, no one cared. Including me.

_Alice's POV_

I will _never _forgive my brother for what he has done. To his family, to the girl he once told that he was irrevocably in love with, my _best_ friend. I hadn't seen Bella since a vision I had about two and a half years ago, but that was enough to let me know she would always be in pain. I hadn't looked since then.

If I was completely honest with myself, I could admit that I didn't _want_ to see how Bella was doing. Simply because I was scared of the damage we had done to her. I couldn't do it.

I'm a coward.

The vision I had those two years ago was not very long, about a few seconds. It was of Bella's eyes. They phased from vibrant and young, to sad and haunted, then to containing the latter emotion along with something I never wanted to see in Bella's eyes.

Emptiness. Dullness. Lifeless.

I was going to _kill_ Edward.

_Bella's POV_

It was late at night and we were still at Claire's, the girl who was selling to Dylan earlier today, house. We had been joined by a few others whose names slip my mind. All I knew was that someone was holding my arm upward, injecting this wonderful feeling into my body. I wondered how I ever could have been scared of needles when they just felt so _good. _

I got up and started swaying my hips to the beat of the music playing in the background. Before I knew it, a few others were dancing with me and our bodies were in a very close proximity, but it didn't matter. Because I was having _fun._ I took a drink Jessica offered me, or at least I think it was Jessica, and gulped it down.

The rhythm of the music was fast; my hips were moving even faster when I began to panic. I had no idea why, but I was suddenly running out of breath and before I knew it, everything went black.

"Oh fuck, fuck, fuck she's ODing!"

**AN: Well I know that wasn't much of a chapter, but I need some opinions ;) Should I bring in one of the Cullens in the next chapter or is it too soon? I have a lot of things planned for this story so I don't want it to like drag on… Also, would you, the reader, like faster updates but shorter chapters or slower updates but longer chapters? It may not apply now since I'm grounded and under watch 24 effing 7 but in the near future. Show some love, leave a review p **

**Oh and thank you to everyone who reviewed last chapter:**

**marina-uzumaki-potter**

**lovinedward4eva**

**topazstar22**


	3. Chapter 3

Jon's POV

_Jon's POV_

I've always been an impatient person. I could never stand waiting for _anything_. Especially not this; waiting for one of my good, hell, one of my best friends in the waiting room at the hospital.

When Bella began to overdose, no one had any idea what to do. Claire was yelling at us to get Bella out of her house, not wanting to be caught by the police. Dylan was simply stunned along with Tyler, Jessica and the others. Without thought, I picked Bella up, ran out of the house, threw her into my car and drove as quickly as possible to the nearest hospital.

I was freaked out, scared, and I thought I lost her when all movement in her body had stopped.

I drove faster.

So now I sit in the waiting room, awaiting an answer from someone, _anyone. _

_Carlisle's POV_

Damn kids. Why did they all have to go around, ruining their lives by sticking needles and drinking god knows what in their bodies?

I had been hoping to get off earlier tonight; Esme wanted me to try speaking with Edward again. Try to get him to move on with his life, yet we all knew it was impossible. For any of us. Bella had brightened our days, and made Edward's life worth living. They were so happy. All of us were so happy.

But that's in the past, and this is future. I had to stop reflecting on it, but I just couldn't help myself.

"Doctor!" A nurse caught my attention. "We have an overdose case in the ER!"

Sighing heavily, I headed to the emergency room. It was the last place I wanted to be.

Damn kids.

When I entered the hospital room containing the patient, I could have sworn my already dead heart began to beat from shock.

"Bella!"

"How do you know this patient Dr. Cullen?" asked an assistant who was checking over Bella's blood pressure. "She has already been stabilized, I'm sorry for making you come over here." He said, not sounding very sorry at all.

"Oh, it is… okay. I don't know her; she just looked like some I know…" I lied, trying to gain back my composure, "I'll take it from here, Kevin."

"Okay, whatever." Kevin drawled, walking out of the room.

I walked over to Bella and examined her face. She looked… sick, tired, like she was wasting away. I felt awful, how could we of done this to her? How could she of done this to herself?

I quickly pulled my cell phone out and dialed a very familiar number.

"Hello?"

"I need you at the hospital. Now. It's an emergency."

**AN: Bad chapter, I know. But I was unsure of how to make the transition of the Cullens and Bella meeting again in a good, quick way. So there yah go. p Thanks to all who reviewed: **

**Mommys-Little-Nightmare**

**AtReYu-FrEaK**

**blooding twilight**

**topazstar22**

**Gracias ;) Oh and I am no longer grounded. Woot!**

**Review… you know you want to **


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